W'salam wrt

Hmm..ade satu loophole kat kes ni...apsal bila bab nak bg cincin/mengechup baru nak mintak pandangan syar'ie, yg duk bercouple/bermakwe/berpakwe tu tak nak persoalkan pulak. Soalnya bercouple ni mmg sgt2 ditegah oleh agama...

Kalau ye nak mengechup pun, ikutla prosedur syar'ie..jgn bertindak sendiri2. Nak bg cincin/gelang ke...mintala org tua/ org yg dah berkahwin wakilkan. So...kesimpulannya, mmg tak setujula dgn cara ni. Sile rujuk artikel di bwh. Akhir kata, mintak ampun kalau ade yg terasa dgn pdgn ni. Wallahua'lam..

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http://www.islamonline.net/fatwa/english/FatwaDisplay.asp?hFatwaID=74776

Title of Fatwa Having a Girlfriend: Permissible?

Date of Fatwa: 18/ August/ 2004

Date of Reply: 18/ August/ 2004

Topic Of Fatwa: Relations Before Marriage
Question of Fatwa: What Does Islam say about having
girfriends or boyfriends?

Name of Mufti Group of Muftis

Content of Reply In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious,
Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and
blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear bother in Islam, thank you very much for having
confidence in us, and we implore Allah to guide you to
the best and to direct you to that which pleases Him,
Amen.

It stands to reason that having a girlfriend is not
the manner of a Muslim. It is forbidden for a male
Muslim to have a girlfriend, as it is forbidden for a
female Muslim to have a boyfriend.

Tackling this point in details, Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi,
former president of the Islamic Society of North
America (ISNA) states:


Muslims should have good relations with all people,
males as well as females, at school, at work, in you
neighborhood etc. You should be kind and courteous to
everyone. However, it is not allowed in Islam to take
a non-mahram person or persons of the opposite gender
as a very close friend. Such friendship often leads to
haram. In the Qur’an, Allah mentioned that good men
and women are those who marry, do not have fornicating
relationships and do not have "paramours" or Akhdan
see An-Nisaa’: 25, Al-Ma'idah: 5).

Akhdan are "sweethearts" or for a man a "mistress" and
for a woman a "lover". The Prophet, peace and
blessings be upom him, is reported to have stated that
“whenever two strangers of the opposite gender are
alone with each other, Satan becomes the third one
between them.” (At-Tirmidhi)”

So it is not allowed for a Muslim boy to have a
girlfriend or for a Muslim girl to have a boyfriend.
Howsoever pure your intentions may be, the danger is
that it will lead you to sin. Or at least you will be
alone with each other and spend more time together.

Thus, you should be friendly with your classmates,
boys and girls both; but do not take a girl as your
intimate friend. Of course, homosexuality is also
forbidden in Islam. So do not take a boy either as
your intimate friend in the "gay sense" of the word.

If your friend, not girlfriend, is interested in
Islam, by all means help her to become Muslim. Give
her the Islamic books and ask her to attend Islamic
meetings and lectures. Let her accept Islam by her own
will. Do not force her or put any pressure on her to
become Muslim. May Allah bless you and keep you on the
right path.


Shedding more light on this, the eminent Muslim
scholar, Sheikh Muhammad Al-Hanooti, member of the
North American Fiqh Council, states:

A friendship wth the opposite sex is not of Islam. It
used to be of the Jahiliyyah (pre-Islamic era) style
of life. A friendship of the two sexes can never be
safe or sex-free. I agree that in some exceptional
cases, it could be innocent. But, a law is usually
amended for social regulations. There is no law to be
customized for a certain person or few people.


The Qur'an and Sunnah guidance for the sexes dealing
with each other has a main major issue for which Islam
has set principles and rules to govern. It is the
desire and lust. The Qur'an prohibits anything that
motivates one's heart in a seductive way towards the
other. The Qur'an tells a woman when she speaks to a
man to speak in a way that doesn't show any interest
in him lest he should feel seduced to build up an
unhealthy relationship. If there is a possibility in
any kind of action that it could lead by some
percentage into catastrophe, no one will ever take
that risk. I can say what you call friendship could
have some percentage of leading into haram. How would
you go to that risk whereas if a doctor says to you an
operation of a certain organ could lead you into
death? You would say I don't want to risk my life, but
I will take the pain.

Firstly, this is a deen but not a man's opinion.
Lastly, if you take it, you certainly will be on the
safe side. If you want to follow reason, reason has a
lot of defects and sometimes we cannot draw the line
to know who is sane and who is insane. Sometimes you
cannot know which is which.

emm...

i like to see it this way, ...berkwn ( let's not use the term 'bercouple', it makes it look bad..)..is never wrong, lagi pulak kalau tujuan perkawanan itu ialah untuk membina masjid, dan untuk ke arah itu, kita kena kenal dulu hati budi orgnya, latar belakang keluarga..utk lihat keserasian dan kesekufuan..ini mmg penting..

tambahan lagi, kita sekarang , semuanya dlm usia 'sedang elok' utk perkara2 mcm tu..setiap drpd kita perlu berusaha..( saya ulang' berusaha'..) utk mencari psgn yg baik, dan sesuai dgn kita.

Yang menjadi pokok persoalan, ialah cara hubungan ini nak dibawa . And that's where the problem lies. Analoginya, kalau seorg naik kereta , lps tu accident mati, takkan semua org yg bawa kereta akan accident mati jugak. Memang this is a one person opinion, ..cuma saya rasa, dalam apa jua hal, yg salah adalah pelakunya , dan bukan semua pelaku itu, membuat kesalahan yg sama. IBArat jugak ,seseorg yg lapar, dan keadaan lapar dia membuat dia mengintai cari makanan. KAlau kita halang fitrah org lapar yg nak makan ni, dia akan guna cara lain, sbb dia nak makan, dia perlu makan. JAngan halangi , tapi tunjuk cara yg betul . KAlau nak makan ,kena beli dr tuan kedai, atau minta izin empunya mknn. Jangan curi, itu tak betul , nanti tak berkat. Saya setuju dgn cara minta izin ibu bapa, ..berkawanlah ..cuma mesti bertempat. Nak guna term 'bertempat' tu pun satu prob jugak..yelah..subjektif definition bertempat tuh..bertempat bg Si A mungkin tak bertempat pd mata Si B.

I know prevention is always better than cure. Memang benar, disebut nyata dlm Quran " Jangan kamu HAMPIRI zina..", tu pasal, sebelum apa2, kita mesti sama2 usaha, baiki luaran dan dlmn, agar perhubungan terpelihara. ..

nak cakap bnyk, saya ilmu dan pengalaman sama kurang, cuma boleh ckp berdsrkan pemerhatian dan perbincangan. Perlu kita sentiasa ingat " Islam adalah agama yg mudah, lagi memudahkan " Diturunkan agama ini utk memandu perjalanan manusia agar selamat dunia akhirat. JAdi, terpulanglah pd masing2..

heheh, teringat sepotong dialog dlm filem hindustan " Dil To Pagal Hai.."  (serius nih, tak bohong!..tp dh di'elaborate' lah skett kat sini..).." dalam hidup ni, kita sentiasa akan ditemukan dgn dua jalan, yg mana kedua2 jalan ini, akan menemukan kita dgn destinasi yg sama. Satu jln panjang sikit, berliku2, kena kesabaran dan pengorbanan dan lagi satu jalan yg terus je, kejap aje dh boleh sampai. Jalan yg panjang lagi berliku ini, akan memberi lebih kepuasan dan kebahagiaan kepada org yg melaluinya , berbanding org yg lalu jln terus tadi, krn usaha dan catatan perjalanannya yg lebih mencabar dan lebih berwarna-warni.." ( alamak..elaboration yg dh agak ter'exeggerate'..x kisahlah..)..

and oh yeah..ttg nak chup2..nih..aiseh..ingat tempat duduk ke nak chup2 mcm tuh, kalau nak chup, boleh, kena melalui org tua , melalui 'cincin tanda' yg disarungkan oleh ibu si lelaki, bukan yg lelaki main suka hati nak chup sendiri without each parents knowing. Perlu diingat jugak, selagi belum berkahwin, prpmn sepenuhnya bwh ibu bapa..jd takkan nak masuk rumah org main redah je, x gitu..?!..

Wallahu'alam..minta ampun minta maaf bnyk2...